I cleared my throat. I was not going to let go of this opportunity. ”Am I good enough?” I had had enough of these questions for quite sometime now. After all I would never know unless I tried. It seemed like ages since I had stood in front of an audience. Okay, honestly I admit that I have never performed to an audience. At least not this kind of stuff! I have aced elocutions and debates, but SINGING, completely out of my league. I have however always fantasized singing that perfect song, with all the chords and notes exactly in place, dancing that perfect dance with not a single step out of place. “DREAMER”, people used to chide me. “Hey it’s just a dream, not that I have made a fool of myself already’, I used to retort. I may not be an accomplished singer, hell, I’m not even an amateur, but I can proudly say that I stick to appreciation, that too if I have nothing else to do and if the song is remotely familiar to me. Even then I only lend as much as a fleeting ear to it. Doesn’t make me much of a prodigy does it? Prodigy????? Do I even know the definition? :)

I had always maintained a dignified front. Always doing things that I was good at. I had drawn my own boundaries, never testing unknown waters. A resolute Capricorn? Yeah I guess so, in more ways that one I should say!

Ah well, I realized that it was time to do the things that I so wanted to do. Someone had once told me – ‘One life. Live it’. How true!!! The right moment to do something never will come. Every moment is the perfect moment and there is nothing like the present to simply go for it.

And so, there I was bang in front of an audience of 50, yeah maybe, at least as far as I could see, with a mike in my hand, clearing my throat. I wanted to pinch myself and ask if this was for real! Apparently my eyes say so! Thank heavens this was not some cut-throat competition, just an informal get-together of university folks.

Through the corner of my eyes, I could see my best friend standing by the curtains, with her thumbs up and a broad grin! Ah well, I had nothing to lose. There were no critics in the audience. I didn’t believe in critics anyways. They were just people who knew the route but didn’t know how to drive. I pat myself. I was in the driver’s seat! Even before the first note escaped my mouth the veena player began to strum. Ah, it’s now or never!! I began to sing. A few notes went astray but I was able to hold fort managing to keep the pace of the song. The tempo began to rise and I completely lost myself as I got into the groove of the song. And voila! The last note and finally it was all over. I didn’t dare to open my eyes and look at the audience. Not that I wanted to hear encore. But the mildest of claps would be enough not to shatter my ego and make my day. Ah there it was, someone clapped and a few more followed suit. I opened my eyes, bowed, and got up with a broad grin nearly touching my eyes. Been there, done that. I walked out and got a bear hug from my friend! Not the mellifluous of songs, yet I was ecstatic! I had done something that I never though I would be able to.

Phew, a sigh of relief! Finally, there it was, a new beginning, a starter, an appetizer, the main course is yet to come!!!!! :)

Disclaimer: That was just a piece of fiction! ‘I‘am still waiting for the right moment!!!!! :)

Go-getters or No-getters

She nudged me,
Do I turn?
"What if?" rang loudly in my ears
"Go on!" said another voice
"Its now or never"
Where am I ? In a battlefield?
Thanks but no thanks
I refused to budge!

Strikingly beautiful??...Ah yes!!:P
So says the corner of eyes
What am I? A coward?
I can't...I simply can't!!
Fresh opportunities come by later , don't they?
"You wish", says the same voice
Say pass and I am doomed
Whatever will be will be
Thats the philosophical me!

Could, might,maybe, in retrospect, in hindsight
Words that form the fulcrum of my dictionary
Never look beyond these words do I?
Subtle hints can't get more obvious!
Subtle....obvious???? Paradoxical.....Whatever!
I prefer to be oblivious
When oportunity bangs on the door
I only hear a faint knock!

The age of passing letters and notes
Are they over?...I quiz myself!
No boss...yet to come!
Sarcastic me in full force
Differential equations and Linear Algebra
Completelt get transmitted overhead
Never made sense , did they?
Nah!
Today is no exception right?
Yep!
I console myself!:)

Decisions , emotions , choices
They rule my lif
"Say hi! Ask her out!"
No way. not on your life!

"Okay Class, Time up. Meet you tomorrow"
Thats it...Over????
Bewildered me!!!

Maths was never my cup of tea!
Next hour...psychology
Maybe she will set next to me!
Maybe Freud will drill some sense into me!!

I wish!!!!!:)

Saluting people who brave the worst!!:)


I closed my eyes
Hazy, Dark, Indescribable
Emotions rippled thro me
Why me? Do I ask myself the quesition?
Millions of people want the answer
Do they have it? A resound NO!
Makes me all the more confident
I wont know the reason either!:)

I shut out all the emotions
I dont want to harbour any ill feelings
"When god brings u to it..
He will bring you thro it"
The oft repeated motivator
Am I standing at the gates of heaven?
A foot here and a foot there
Not knowing where to go?

A good night's rest
Only to wake up and realise
That all this never happened!
How I would love that!
"Alas Thou shall not get what you want!"
My rounds of goodbye...will the time come too soon?
"Till death do us apart"
Seems to fit the bill perfectly!
Whoever coined all this, I muse
Ah there it is, my sense of humour
Good! I'vent lost it all!

I opened my eyes
The world is just as it was
Birds chirping
The faint smell of wet earth
My piping mug of hot coffee
Bryan Adams crroning on my Ipod
The world hasn't taken a U turn has it?
Nope , not as far as I can see

I decide to go with the flow
Suddenly I remember Shakespeare's Seven Stages
He didn't consider such situations I supposed
Destiny will unfold itself
Do I find this plausible?
Least of all , am I convinced?
Nah!
Like hell I'll take that!

I grit my teeth
Fight I will
Lose I may
But never will I take it lying down!

Smile I will,
Thro trials and tribulations
Simply because,
The world is just the same
And
I am ready to run the race against time:)

Cheers

Random thoughts!!!!:)

All I wanted was a smile
And a reassuring nod
To say
All is okay
To say
This too shall pass
I got a hug instead

All I wanted was 5 rupees
To buy that rubber ball
To go out
And play cricket with the guys
To get hurt and scraped
Only to brush away the mud
And start fielding again
I was a gifted a willow instead


All I wanted was for the bell to ring
Just so that science class would end
To pick up
My Famous Five and start reading
In the five minutes I would get
For my next teacher to come
English teacher gave us a free period instead

All I wanted was to go home from school
All alone for the first time
Without someone to say
Hold my hand, be careful!
Just so that I could ride my new cycle
To feel the afternoon sun
To feel the high of riding back home for the first time
My pals accompanied me instead!

All I wanted was for someone to be my best friend
To share all that I possibly could
The usual girl talk
The intellectually stimulating conversations
To share your highs and lows
To simply act as a sounding board
To simply have fun
To rant off when you are at the lowest ebb
I asked for one
I got a fantastic bunch!!!!!! :)

A few one-liners that caught my eye sometime back( well honestly...they are stick-its on my fridge and they've been there for as long as I remember)

Here goes!

• Chocolate , coffee and men....so much better when they are rich!
• Middle age is when a broad mind and a narrow waist exchange places!
• Variety is the spice of life, one day annoy people,the next day ignore them!
• The more people I meet the more I love my dog!

Cheers!

This post is a trip down memory lane. Thoughts and memories which each one of us would be able to relate to in one way or the other, however vague and distant it may seem. Something which would make us all think, "yeah right...how true!!"

As kids we were happy in our own little secluded world. A world which was confined to doing simple and the most silliest of things that we would think twice about right now. When we were the cynosure of everyone's eyes! It may still be the case, am not arguing with that one! When life revolved around bucket loads of water and sand to build that perfect castle. At four we were more bothered about having a "Good and a Star" scribbled across our homework than about....maybe the Middle East crisis!A single tear trickling down our cheeks would create a ruckus at home.Massive fights with our siblings over who would get the bigger piece of the cake were a routine! The last piece tastes the best! You can bet on that!

When life moves on , the complexity of situations takes on a higher degree. Our horizons widen, so does the friends-o-sphere.Come teenage, and we think we rule the world and care a damn about someone elses(read mom and dad) opinion. Right we are, and wrong they are. Countless arguements for all the wrong reasons and we always play defender. Its a whirlwind and bang, we are at the center of it all!Time comes when all the "g's" suddenly disappear from our vocabulary."So man,how's it goin???"Words take a totally different dimension.As we go forward life takes us to even dizzier heights and time becomes a huge constraint and to even exchange a few words with friends becomes a humungous task. At the end of the day , we are too stressed out to even utter a "hi"!

Don't you think , now is the time to rekindle the kid in us?We've all locked it away in one corner of our hearts, and double bolted it.Liven it up. Let go of it all.Life hands you a lemon, make Lemonade..or so they say!What is life for.....if not to live and cherish every moment.Live, like you've never lived before and laugh like you've never laughed before!

Cheers!

Life is a song, when they are along-----Redefining moments!

Many people we meet in various walks of life,
Do we remember all of them?
A smile, a wave, a few words and then we bid goodbye,
None but a few are friends for life!
The rest are gone…lost…or simply forgotten!

A gang u can never, even in the wildest of ur dreams ever wish to part with! Shobs, Divs Sanch, Pavi, Dhans n Vysh!!! These guys have redefined friendship to me. It’s been “Get Set Go” rite from the minute we met in 11th standard till this microsecond! We bonded big time! 12 B was like our second home! Perennially the last benchers, in one corner of the class, we’ve surely had our share of fun. Classes were a riot, all the time…thanks to us! Really, we pride ourselves on that! School days are long gone, but the fun that we had, the innumerable pranks tat we played, the koothu, the galatta, those memories still linger on. And they make me smile whenever I think of the good old days!!!!! Life is almost a celebration whenever these guys are around.

We are all different in our own little ways, and yet we get along so well…accepting each other….. the way we are! No issues..no hassles! That’s what makes us all the more special!Shobs, the ever practical and intellectual Aquarian; Pavi, the dreamer (She always reminds me of Phoebie….don’t ask why); Sanch the Queeny our gang ;) Divs….intuitive ,imaginative and dependable…her house is literally a camping place for us! Dhans, the ever smiling cutie, of our gang and Vysh the tomboy ,who marks her presence or should I say absence “virtually” every time we meet!

Wishing that we have new reasons to smile,
Wishing that we have memories to look back at,
Wishing that we have bright times ahead!
Wishing that we stay the thickest of friends,
For now and forever!

Bored and Day Dreaming!

I look out of the bus
A flurry of thoughts breeze in and out,
Am twiddling my thumbs
With the wind hitting in my face
With the hope that
A brainwave would rescue me!

My only companion,
A hard bound edition of Anastasia
Safely tucked away,
As I realise that,
Observation has its own virtues

I am just a few stops old
Still a long way to go
Work can wait while I dream on
Of conversations that continue to remain on my wish list
Has the idealist in me overtaken the realist?

Many may argue
Where is the time to get bored?
Its a rat race that we run
Hang on,
There's always time to get bored!
And to day-dream!

A happy go lucky attitude
The value add of daydreams
Running away from the realities of life
Escaping into a bubble that envelopes you
All the time aware
That it could burst anytime

Its outrageous and doesn't make sense
Its a muddle of all possible permutations
Wishing and hoping
That life were just a teeny bit different
Maybe this and maybe that!
Bring on the smile and a chuckle

A loud blaring honk and back to reality
The distant look in the eyes fades away
As it dawns on me
That its easier to day dream
Than to navigate the traffic
As long as you are not at the wheel!

"Quote Unquote"

There is this one movie which has deeply affected me like nothing else could. I could not relate to it even for a microsecond and yet it has left an indelible mark. There have been many occasions when I used to sit back and retrospect! Given a chance I would watch it a zillion times over and over again! Such is the effect My Best Friend's Wedding had on me!

"This too shall pass!"

When you are down and out and feeling awfully low
When the whole world has shut its doors to you
When all you want to do is mope around and sulk
When there are no hues around but just the blues
Just remember that
"This too shall pass"

Easier said than done, some may argue.Is the glass always half full?But then,one has to start from somewhere! Everything in life always comes with a price tag! A few days back I got a forward which said,"Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it,it won't last for ever. If things are bad,don't worry because it wont last forever either!"How true!

The topmost priority in everyones wish-list is " If only life were so simple" Unfortunately it is not and moreover it can not! It may sound as a philosophic attitude towards life,but that is the way it is!

Problems have become a way of life. So we can not play escapist.Look around, there is always a shoulder to cry on , a friend to lend a helping hand, a mother to dole out words of encouragement,a loved one to stand by you through thick and thin, as steady as a rock, and someone to tell you that "this too shall pass"!


"When you love someone, just say it there, else the moment just passes you by!"
How true it is!We have reached a stage where we have to double check our own thoughts before we mouth them! Is this the right time?Can I say so now?Or maybe,maybe, I should just check with the other side of me before I say anything! The thought process is endless!

I am not narrowing it down to just the person you have fallen in love with, but on the broader level too. Parents, siblings, friends,teachers ......anyone who has left a lasting impression on you. And yeah, not restricting it to phrases like " I love you" but to other simple things, like for instance "Thanks"!Many people may not be too vocal about the way they feel and might take a little longer to come out of the shell to really start talking!

Say it then and there, else the beauty of the moment just fades away!

Is it worth it?

As the second races past
And the minute and the hour struggle to keep pace
Are my efforts in vain?
Is it worth it?
Only time will tell!

I have put my heart and soul to it
Going about it like a maniac
Failing to enjoy the fleeting moments of joy
The passion in me soaring to new heights
Is it worth it?
Only time will tell!

Toiling with a hope in my heart
With endless optimism
If it fails,
With no one to blame but my own self
Is it worth it?
Only time will tell!

Credit is long overdue
Some may say,
To me?
Oh no, I beg to differ!
Is it worth it?
Only time will tell!

At times abstract as it may seem
With no course to take
And yet, there is a new dawn awaiting
Persistence pays , as they say
Is it worth it?
Only time will tell!

It is arduous, but keep it going
Sometime, someday I will realize
When I see that joyful smile
And the sparkle in the eyes
That after all,
It is worth it!!