Taraf ! - It is the Iranian conversational custom of making polite but vacant offers.The term hit me hard. It made me cringe a bit and think about the countless occasions on which I have said ' Done!' and not kept my word. It reminds me of the several occasions when I have exchanged numbers with random people in the hope of calling them someday. The 'DONE" word, I realise, is a little too overused these days. 'Done, I'll call you sometime.' The sometime never comes. 'Done, Lets catch up over the weekend'. The weekend passes by in a blur. I have for long chided myself about this. Never say done if you don't really intend to do it. I realise that it really is not done till you actually do it. Till then, it just remains Taraf!

A random switching of channels introduced me to a beautiful phrase sometime back -Celebrate the differences. I can't quite recall the context of this phrase. But the term made me realise that the differences are rather important to help sustain a relationship, whether with friends or with a partner. I am no expert on relationships. But I do understand the need to accept people as they are and not attempt to change them. No two people are alike and to expect someone else to think and behave the same way as you do could prove to be a bit of a stretch. Differences tend to be inevitable. As long as two people complement each other in a relationship, maybe we should just agree to disagree and get on with life!

They sat in the backseat aware that the goodbyes were coming soon. A tear trickled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. They continued to ride in silence;an easy silence that gave her the opportunity to collect her thoughts. Soon she'd be riding home in an empty car, save for the driver and returning to an empty home. Good things always come to an end to make way for better things, she thought. They both steadily looked out of the window, not daring to face each other's tears anymore. Been there, done that, at home. They looked out; looked at the city that they had made home. Fond memories weaved in and out. Memories, nature's way of letting us relive the past, she thought. She saw the sun slowly rising from beyond the horizon. Nature was telling her that a new life was dawning, awaiting them both, albeit in different timezones. She crossed her fingers, sent up a silent prayer just as the care came to a screeching halt in front of the departure terminal. They both got out, neither slamming the door shut as was their usual habit. They unloaded the luggage and trolleyed it inside the terminal. They were on time and heard the announcement requesting passengers on board flight EC256 to please check in. They hugged and as tears rolled down their cheeks, they promised. Promised to write regularly. Promised to keep in touch. Promised to take care of themselves. Promised to stay the same. They finally let go of each other and she walked away to wait for the plane to depart. Finally the status on the board changed and she got up to leave. She walked out and looked up. Up at the skies and a small smile tugged at her lips. She followed the plane till it became a speck in the distance.
She smiled. Smiled with the hope the future would promise the best for her daughter. She was happy. Happy that her daughter had left to realise certain long held dreams. She felt a flurry of emotions, all at the same time. Joy,sorrow,worry,pride,love. All of them. She was after all a mother.

So you asked me to come back
Wait another year
But I had my hopes high
You made me walk away


Bliss
I experienced it
Smile
I let my mouth curl
Laugh
I let my sides ache
Silence
I bolted all words
Tears
I let my eyes sting
Joy
I reveled in it
Despair
I threw up my hands
Confusion
I let my thoughts swirl
Luck
I crossed my fingers
Hope
I carried it in my heart

Is it wrong to ask for more
Is it wrong to feel complete
When life has a mind of its own
I become a mere puppet
Pulled up and down, left and right

Period, find me.
Let me just be me
Let me complete me

Tomorrow is another day

Sometimes life slips away just when I think I have control of it, finally
Sometimes so much happens that I can’t catch up with life
Sometimes there is a void that I don’t know how to fill
Sometimes I am happy
Sometimes there is a cloud over my head
Sometimes I talk two to a dozen
Sometimes I keep to myself
Sometimes I laugh
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I am in love with life
Sometime I hate it with all my heart
I wish for these conflicts to end
I wish for peace from within
I wish for all the good things
I wish for strength to deal with troubled times
I wish! :)

Get me out before the shadows grow darker
I smell rain on the horizon
I see dark clouds overhead
I see things differently
For you its a clear sky
I need to break free
I don't know
Maybe this is it!
I'm drifting away
I let my eyes do the talking

I'd like to ask before its too late
Will you be there when I wake up
I hope to god you will
I hope to god I will
I am off now
S'long!

I need to be inspired to write. I always need a trigger, a little nudge in one corner of my mind to make me want to write about something.

A long time back I got a forward that outlined different perspectives on Celebration. One was along these lines,

Celebration
Three friends
Three corners of the world
Three mugs of coffee
One chat messenger!

Communication - that's what it essentially means doesn't it? A forward that was; a long time back at that. Reality it is now and yes, every week; just that weekends come slightly earlier these days! All it takes is a simple punch of numbers but ofcourse the communication channel strays here slightly from chat messnger to Nokias and Samsungs! Lost to what's happening around, its time to catch up. Loud talk at the same time. High pitched shrieks and squeals of laughter. We are kids again. Humour, wit and dry jokes. Smiles all around. Pearls of wisdom thrown in at the right time. "Hang in there. It'll be all right. We are around. You can do it. You are the best", always thankful for that. Leg pulling, lots of it, sometimes aimed at self. Overdose of it is always fun. All taken with the right spirit. No mood swings. No sulking. Just fun. Just talk. Just laughter and lots of love! and Over! Until next week!

What are we without each other? Touchwood!:)

A known crowd makes me feel nice, makes me feel wanted. Semi-known, unknown faces kind of gives me the jitters, but I usually end up striking a chord and when I start to be myself I end up having fun. Huh??? Who am I kidding? Noooo. Close to impossible. The sentence about semi-unknown, unknown people is the closest I have ever got to an outrageous lie! Well, it felt good to type that out nevertheless!:) The very first sentence, however, is true. So you can trust me on that. I have always felt a tinge of envy when people make conversation at the drop of a hat, while it take me ages to make up that perfect sentence while talking to people whom I am meeting for the first time, or I haven't met in quite a while. When I meeting someone new, its the same set of questions, same talk about who you are and what you do. Its like a recruiter saying ' Okay, now walk me through your resume'. Anyway the gift of gab has always eluded me when I am with the unknown. I have no regrets however. You can't have it all, can you?

It is a totally different scenario when I am around people whom I love. I really don't have to impress anyone. I can just be myself. Simply not care about mistakes. Simply not care about whether people are being judgemental(because good friends are never judgemental, I can vouch for that), or simply remain silent and just drink in the conversation that is going on around me.

Silence. Ah! Bliss!

The main reason why I started to type this post is because of two sentences that I read at two different places, but that carry the same essence!

A best friend is someone whom you can sit in complete silence with and yet walk away like it was the best conversation you have had.

Only two people who are compatible with each other, can sit in complete silence and yet enjoy each other's company!

Nope, I am not going to elaborate on it at all! It is up to each one of us to let it sink in! We all have our own explanations, don't we?

This has nothing to do with the previous post. I have always looked for signs around me. Something to tell me that things are going to be fine. I somehow always tend to look for numbers or certain pictures or maybe nameboards or things like that. One day on my way to work, I happened to see an 800 whose license number was the same as my ID number back in college. At the cost of sounding silly, I'd like to say that I was thrilled, ecstatic! Happiness was very evident on my face. Everyday on my way to work I used to see the same car. Well, I was quite happy that my good luck charm was accompanying me to work. But something other than the name plate caught my attention. If anyone is reading this post, and your grey cells are working overtime, NO, it's not what you think. I saw a child in the back seat, a little boy who I think would be barely 6-7 years old. Knees propped on the back seat, arms resting over each other, his school bag and lunch basket by his side, he was peering intently through the back window. Sounds normal, doesn't it. I thought so initially too. SoI just left it at that, accelerated my bike, overtook the car and just let it be. The next day, I saw the same kid again. The next day and the next. I had never before seen such a sad face, so forlorn that I felt like going up to him to find out the reason. Unlike kids that usually prefer the front seat to the back, this child always occupied the back seat, while his grandad(I presume it is) drove. Unlike kids, that talk two to a dozen, wanting to know how this works and how that works(like we were all walking WIKIPEDIAS), this child prefered to keep to himself, to remain a silent spectator unperturbed by the mad rush around him. This child was content looking out of the window, sometimes the side, at other times the back. I don't know if he is a special child. I don't know his history. I don't know his background. I really don't know which school he goes to. I don't know who his parents are. But I do wish, I really do wish I see a happy and cheerful face the next time I see him. The world I think is a happier place to live in when kids are happy and smiling.

A calling! Yes, you read that right. I was having this conversation with a friend about what it is that decides the life path of an individual. She put it very simply :
‘There are signs all around us that serve as indications. There is a calling for each one of us; there is something or the other destined for each one of us. We just need to find that calling and we can do that by simply keeping our eyes open’.
It strikes a chord somewhere, doesn’t it? On the contrary when I was having the same conversation with my father about destiny and the ilk, he dismissed it off with a wave of his hand. Such things do not exist according to him. Such things don’t mean anything to him. Destiny, I suppose to him means something that an individual carves out for herself. It has nothing to do with the hand of god. It has nothing to do with anything that can not be explained logically. You know men; logic and reasoning are synonymous with them, I suppose! I am not trying to undermine the importance of efforts, hard work and such things, but above all this; I truly feel that destiny makes it a point to mark its presence in everyone’s life. I guess, you have to be at the right place at the right time. So see you there then. :)

Hope,
Let me see the world through your eyes,
Let me do the things you do,
Let me see the things you see,
Let me dream,
Let my dreams come true,
Let me be you for a day,
Let us trade places,
I know me
Let me know you,
Lets just be friends forever!

All of us have our moments.
Moments when we'd like to be left alone.
Moments when you'd like to be your own best friend.
Moments when even the slightest of disturbances is enough to drive you up the wall.
Moments when you give someone the cold shoulder, the silent treatment, which later you feel guilty about.
Moments when silence is bliss.
Moments when your dog ends up becoming your best friend.
Moments when some 'n' number of thoughts are running through your head, you wish you were brain dead!
Moments when even coffee and a good book can not make your spirits soar.
Moments when you wish life were just a bit, yes, just slightly different.
Moments when you wish you could just let go of things that are holding you back and simply move on.
Moments when you wish you could simply laugh it off.
Moments when you wish to simply drop what you are doing and take off.
Moments when your gut instinct tells you to do it, yet you hold back fearing the worst.
Moments when the whole world is falling apart, yet everything around you is chugging along fine.
Moments like these make us wonder what's around the corner.
Nothing but the best, and we cling on to that hope!

A sense of calm washed over me. I was no longer my tense self. I was no longer thinking random thoughts. That 'no longer' was not long enough actually. Just enough for me to realise that something had changed within me and I quite liked that. I reveled in it, completely enjoying every moment, completely oblivious to the maddening city traffic. I could never sit idle. Never be 'not preoccupied'. I had to be thinking randomly. Piecing 2 and 2 together to make 14. Well, that's me. Take it or leave it. I have never known calm waters. Never. My mind had to be running on third gear. First gear? Bah! What good is one when you can accelerate on three? But why did I not feel my usual self? Calm and me!! A perfect oxymoron! But I realised that I felt calm because I was enjoying being in the present! Present - Maybe Wren and Martin should never deal with Past and Future!

Anyway I do realise that it's a good feeling to enjoy 'this moment', to enjoy 'now', than to think of what next. Its like reading a good book, although I want to turn to the last page to find out how the book ends, I want to be there when the action unfolds, to hang on to every word, re-read certain parts, before I get to the end. It's like a good book that talks to me. That makes me feel good. I don't want the book to end. I am enjoying the book so much, that I dont think of anyting but the book. Oh, future can wait while I finish the book.

Its like lying on the beach, watching the waves curl up, only to look above and see a star-studded sky. I am completely lost to the outside world. I am mine. Only mine.

Well, at the end of the day, its my life. Like it or not. Want it or not. When I am here, I want to be only here, to enjoy every moment of it. Tomorrow can wait. I am not done with today yet!

I wish someone could answer all my questions
The why's and why nots of life
The where , when and how?
It seems simple doesnt it
Then why dont I have answers

Certain things are better left unsaid
Better left unexplained
For it is for me to understand
For it is for me to explain
I may be at a loss
But there is always a reason behind
That eludes me skillfuly

Will I ever know?
Will He ever tell me?
Where are my signs?

I wanted to fly high
I wanted to ride the waves
I wanted to feel the high
I wanted to live my life

Now I want to leave it all behind
Closing a chapter of life
I want to start anew
Let me make it up to you

I haven't been there
I know, I know
I never wanted to
I was happy being mine

I didn't have the time
I didn't bother to make time
I was on my own
I was away from it all

Lets start now
Before I change my mind
Let me be there
Let me be with you

Let me see them grow
Let me hold their hands
Let me see them laugh
Let me see them cry

We'll get along fine
We'll chase the butterflies as it dawns
We'll chase the shadows by the dark
I'll hold them tight lest I go away again
I won't , I can't
I want to be there
I will be there

Give me a chance
I won't let you down
I promise

Cheers
rt

What do all these expressions mean?



She (Hands covering the mouth) : "You haven't changed!!!!!!"



When will you ever change!!!!!



She : "Oohh...what a cute kid!!!"



I have to see his dad!!!!!



He(sad look): " Sorry , I wasn't able to make it"

She : " No, that's okay.No problem"



"I didn't want you to come in the first place, you loser"



He(all excited) : "C'mon lets get started"

She(send up a silent prayer) : "Sure darling"


Oh no! Not again

She: How do you want your burger - medium or rare?

He: Oh I'm fine with anything dear!

Does that mean you know the difference?God Help.

X ( with a heavy Spanish accent) :"Sorry about that. I don't speak good english. I am poor at it"

Me ( Indian accent ofcourse! No! Don't get me wrong. Simple Indian! Not the Americanised " so doood, wassszzzup" accent) : " That's okay. No problem. Please put me on to Mr X"

I am on the phone waiting to be routed to Mr X. What a long wait. The incessant tune at the other end gets on my nerves. La La La La La. Am waiting. 2...3....4......5.....the clock keeps ticking away. X comes back on the line.

X : "Sorry Madammee(pause)....but he iz not there. (Long Pause) Call later?"

Me: "oh:( Sure. Thanks. I'll try tomorrow"

X:Sorry. I speak no english.

Me: Thanks, I'll try tomorrow. Bye

How many of us Indians would openly admit to not being able to speak good english. Not many I suppose. Do we take pride in being able to speak fluently in our mother tongue. Not many hands will go up now either. The Queens english. That was what we wanted to master. American English, without the G's. How you doing man! That's what we speak now. Not a sentence goes w/o being peppered abundantly with 'like'. So I was like....' damn how could you do that'

Well well well. I don't know if its a passing phase or if further generations will end up not being able to understand, converse or write in their mother tongue.

Anybody answers?

I stand there
As a new day dawns
My feet burried deep in the sand
Waves curl up to trace the feet
As they doff the sand
I dig my feet further deep
The waves curl up yet again
Let's not change
Let's be the same

Etched in the sands of time
Memories linger on
Different paths we have tread
Different experiences we have to share
Tides of time attempt to wash away the past
To make it none, but a speck in the distant past
Let's not change
Let's be the same

I'll go through it with you
The bond won't gather dust
I promise!
Matters of the heart or the head
A whoop of joy or a word of regret
The first to know
You have always been
Will always be
I promise!

Something is missing
Yet everything is just so right
So much to look forward to
The highest of the highs
The lowest of the lows
We've just started
A long way to go
Still.................

The road may go two ways
We may choose to go different ways
To chase our dreams
To live the one life that we have to live
Eternal optimists we will remain
Drawing inspiration from everybody
As the world around continues to spin!

Laughing at silly nothings
That only we will understand
Slapping our knees over a cup of coffee
As memories of the past weave in and out
Talking at the top of our voices
Laughter ringing out loud in the cafe
While people around us wonder if we've gone beserk

Talk
Of school days, college, work et al
Of little nothings
Of the innumerable crushes that we have had
Of life
Of what lies ahead
Of what's in store
Of what's over
Of what we could have done right in the past
Of what went wrong
Of anxieties and worries
Of dreams and desires
Of hopes
Of us and the rest of the world
Of how abnormal we are
Of how normal the rest of the world is
Of everything and anything

Carefree days may be long gone
Replaced by a sense of responsibility
Towards ourselves
And to the people whom we love

Miles apart
Yet etched are the memories
But a phone call away
We'll keep in touch!!!

I promise:)

Either this way or that
She leaves it vague
She leaves it unanswered
Open-ended it remains
A bit too mystifying

Words remain as thoughts
Lest she hurt someone
Lest she hurt herself
Better left unsaid
Untouched it is
Untouched it will be

With her it will go to the grave
Secrets, anything but ephemeral
Unless expressions give it all away
Unless she can't take it anymore
Unless she gets the courage to confront it
Unless she is forced to admit it
Unless she finds someone she can share it with

Laughter fills the room
She is drawn away from her thoughts
She is all but 15!
She breaks out in a little victory dance
She gives them all a bear hug
Plants a kiss on her brother's forehead!
Only person to call family:(
'He deserves it all', she prides!
Smiles all around!
Cheer all around!

For a second, if only!
She forgets
That she had been a victim!