They sat in the backseat aware that the goodbyes were coming soon. A tear trickled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. They continued to ride in silence;an easy silence that gave her the opportunity to collect her thoughts. Soon she'd be riding home in an empty car, save for the driver and returning to an empty home. Good things always come to an end to make way for better things, she thought. They both steadily looked out of the window, not daring to face each other's tears anymore. Been there, done that, at home. They looked out; looked at the city that they had made home. Fond memories weaved in and out. Memories, nature's way of letting us relive the past, she thought. She saw the sun slowly rising from beyond the horizon. Nature was telling her that a new life was dawning, awaiting them both, albeit in different timezones. She crossed her fingers, sent up a silent prayer just as the care came to a screeching halt in front of the departure terminal. They both got out, neither slamming the door shut as was their usual habit. They unloaded the luggage and trolleyed it inside the terminal. They were on time and heard the announcement requesting passengers on board flight EC256 to please check in. They hugged and as tears rolled down their cheeks, they promised. Promised to write regularly. Promised to keep in touch. Promised to take care of themselves. Promised to stay the same. They finally let go of each other and she walked away to wait for the plane to depart. Finally the status on the board changed and she got up to leave. She walked out and looked up. Up at the skies and a small smile tugged at her lips. She followed the plane till it became a speck in the distance.
She smiled. Smiled with the hope the future would promise the best for her daughter. She was happy. Happy that her daughter had left to realise certain long held dreams. She felt a flurry of emotions, all at the same time. Joy,sorrow,worry,pride,love. All of them. She was after all a mother.

So you asked me to come back
Wait another year
But I had my hopes high
You made me walk away


Bliss
I experienced it
Smile
I let my mouth curl
Laugh
I let my sides ache
Silence
I bolted all words
Tears
I let my eyes sting
Joy
I reveled in it
Despair
I threw up my hands
Confusion
I let my thoughts swirl
Luck
I crossed my fingers
Hope
I carried it in my heart

Is it wrong to ask for more
Is it wrong to feel complete
When life has a mind of its own
I become a mere puppet
Pulled up and down, left and right

Period, find me.
Let me just be me
Let me complete me

Tomorrow is another day

Sometimes life slips away just when I think I have control of it, finally
Sometimes so much happens that I can’t catch up with life
Sometimes there is a void that I don’t know how to fill
Sometimes I am happy
Sometimes there is a cloud over my head
Sometimes I talk two to a dozen
Sometimes I keep to myself
Sometimes I laugh
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I am in love with life
Sometime I hate it with all my heart
I wish for these conflicts to end
I wish for peace from within
I wish for all the good things
I wish for strength to deal with troubled times
I wish! :)

Get me out before the shadows grow darker
I smell rain on the horizon
I see dark clouds overhead
I see things differently
For you its a clear sky
I need to break free
I don't know
Maybe this is it!
I'm drifting away
I let my eyes do the talking

I'd like to ask before its too late
Will you be there when I wake up
I hope to god you will
I hope to god I will
I am off now
S'long!

I need to be inspired to write. I always need a trigger, a little nudge in one corner of my mind to make me want to write about something.

A long time back I got a forward that outlined different perspectives on Celebration. One was along these lines,

Celebration
Three friends
Three corners of the world
Three mugs of coffee
One chat messenger!

Communication - that's what it essentially means doesn't it? A forward that was; a long time back at that. Reality it is now and yes, every week; just that weekends come slightly earlier these days! All it takes is a simple punch of numbers but ofcourse the communication channel strays here slightly from chat messnger to Nokias and Samsungs! Lost to what's happening around, its time to catch up. Loud talk at the same time. High pitched shrieks and squeals of laughter. We are kids again. Humour, wit and dry jokes. Smiles all around. Pearls of wisdom thrown in at the right time. "Hang in there. It'll be all right. We are around. You can do it. You are the best", always thankful for that. Leg pulling, lots of it, sometimes aimed at self. Overdose of it is always fun. All taken with the right spirit. No mood swings. No sulking. Just fun. Just talk. Just laughter and lots of love! and Over! Until next week!

What are we without each other? Touchwood!:)

A known crowd makes me feel nice, makes me feel wanted. Semi-known, unknown faces kind of gives me the jitters, but I usually end up striking a chord and when I start to be myself I end up having fun. Huh??? Who am I kidding? Noooo. Close to impossible. The sentence about semi-unknown, unknown people is the closest I have ever got to an outrageous lie! Well, it felt good to type that out nevertheless!:) The very first sentence, however, is true. So you can trust me on that. I have always felt a tinge of envy when people make conversation at the drop of a hat, while it take me ages to make up that perfect sentence while talking to people whom I am meeting for the first time, or I haven't met in quite a while. When I meeting someone new, its the same set of questions, same talk about who you are and what you do. Its like a recruiter saying ' Okay, now walk me through your resume'. Anyway the gift of gab has always eluded me when I am with the unknown. I have no regrets however. You can't have it all, can you?

It is a totally different scenario when I am around people whom I love. I really don't have to impress anyone. I can just be myself. Simply not care about mistakes. Simply not care about whether people are being judgemental(because good friends are never judgemental, I can vouch for that), or simply remain silent and just drink in the conversation that is going on around me.

Silence. Ah! Bliss!

The main reason why I started to type this post is because of two sentences that I read at two different places, but that carry the same essence!

A best friend is someone whom you can sit in complete silence with and yet walk away like it was the best conversation you have had.

Only two people who are compatible with each other, can sit in complete silence and yet enjoy each other's company!

Nope, I am not going to elaborate on it at all! It is up to each one of us to let it sink in! We all have our own explanations, don't we?

This has nothing to do with the previous post. I have always looked for signs around me. Something to tell me that things are going to be fine. I somehow always tend to look for numbers or certain pictures or maybe nameboards or things like that. One day on my way to work, I happened to see an 800 whose license number was the same as my ID number back in college. At the cost of sounding silly, I'd like to say that I was thrilled, ecstatic! Happiness was very evident on my face. Everyday on my way to work I used to see the same car. Well, I was quite happy that my good luck charm was accompanying me to work. But something other than the name plate caught my attention. If anyone is reading this post, and your grey cells are working overtime, NO, it's not what you think. I saw a child in the back seat, a little boy who I think would be barely 6-7 years old. Knees propped on the back seat, arms resting over each other, his school bag and lunch basket by his side, he was peering intently through the back window. Sounds normal, doesn't it. I thought so initially too. SoI just left it at that, accelerated my bike, overtook the car and just let it be. The next day, I saw the same kid again. The next day and the next. I had never before seen such a sad face, so forlorn that I felt like going up to him to find out the reason. Unlike kids that usually prefer the front seat to the back, this child always occupied the back seat, while his grandad(I presume it is) drove. Unlike kids, that talk two to a dozen, wanting to know how this works and how that works(like we were all walking WIKIPEDIAS), this child prefered to keep to himself, to remain a silent spectator unperturbed by the mad rush around him. This child was content looking out of the window, sometimes the side, at other times the back. I don't know if he is a special child. I don't know his history. I don't know his background. I really don't know which school he goes to. I don't know who his parents are. But I do wish, I really do wish I see a happy and cheerful face the next time I see him. The world I think is a happier place to live in when kids are happy and smiling.

A calling! Yes, you read that right. I was having this conversation with a friend about what it is that decides the life path of an individual. She put it very simply :
‘There are signs all around us that serve as indications. There is a calling for each one of us; there is something or the other destined for each one of us. We just need to find that calling and we can do that by simply keeping our eyes open’.
It strikes a chord somewhere, doesn’t it? On the contrary when I was having the same conversation with my father about destiny and the ilk, he dismissed it off with a wave of his hand. Such things do not exist according to him. Such things don’t mean anything to him. Destiny, I suppose to him means something that an individual carves out for herself. It has nothing to do with the hand of god. It has nothing to do with anything that can not be explained logically. You know men; logic and reasoning are synonymous with them, I suppose! I am not trying to undermine the importance of efforts, hard work and such things, but above all this; I truly feel that destiny makes it a point to mark its presence in everyone’s life. I guess, you have to be at the right place at the right time. So see you there then. :)

Hope,
Let me see the world through your eyes,
Let me do the things you do,
Let me see the things you see,
Let me dream,
Let my dreams come true,
Let me be you for a day,
Let us trade places,
I know me
Let me know you,
Lets just be friends forever!

All of us have our moments.
Moments when we'd like to be left alone.
Moments when you'd like to be your own best friend.
Moments when even the slightest of disturbances is enough to drive you up the wall.
Moments when you give someone the cold shoulder, the silent treatment, which later you feel guilty about.
Moments when silence is bliss.
Moments when your dog ends up becoming your best friend.
Moments when some 'n' number of thoughts are running through your head, you wish you were brain dead!
Moments when even coffee and a good book can not make your spirits soar.
Moments when you wish life were just a bit, yes, just slightly different.
Moments when you wish you could just let go of things that are holding you back and simply move on.
Moments when you wish you could simply laugh it off.
Moments when you wish to simply drop what you are doing and take off.
Moments when your gut instinct tells you to do it, yet you hold back fearing the worst.
Moments when the whole world is falling apart, yet everything around you is chugging along fine.
Moments like these make us wonder what's around the corner.
Nothing but the best, and we cling on to that hope!

A sense of calm washed over me. I was no longer my tense self. I was no longer thinking random thoughts. That 'no longer' was not long enough actually. Just enough for me to realise that something had changed within me and I quite liked that. I reveled in it, completely enjoying every moment, completely oblivious to the maddening city traffic. I could never sit idle. Never be 'not preoccupied'. I had to be thinking randomly. Piecing 2 and 2 together to make 14. Well, that's me. Take it or leave it. I have never known calm waters. Never. My mind had to be running on third gear. First gear? Bah! What good is one when you can accelerate on three? But why did I not feel my usual self? Calm and me!! A perfect oxymoron! But I realised that I felt calm because I was enjoying being in the present! Present - Maybe Wren and Martin should never deal with Past and Future!

Anyway I do realise that it's a good feeling to enjoy 'this moment', to enjoy 'now', than to think of what next. Its like reading a good book, although I want to turn to the last page to find out how the book ends, I want to be there when the action unfolds, to hang on to every word, re-read certain parts, before I get to the end. It's like a good book that talks to me. That makes me feel good. I don't want the book to end. I am enjoying the book so much, that I dont think of anyting but the book. Oh, future can wait while I finish the book.

Its like lying on the beach, watching the waves curl up, only to look above and see a star-studded sky. I am completely lost to the outside world. I am mine. Only mine.

Well, at the end of the day, its my life. Like it or not. Want it or not. When I am here, I want to be only here, to enjoy every moment of it. Tomorrow can wait. I am not done with today yet!

I wish someone could answer all my questions
The why's and why nots of life
The where , when and how?
It seems simple doesnt it
Then why dont I have answers

Certain things are better left unsaid
Better left unexplained
For it is for me to understand
For it is for me to explain
I may be at a loss
But there is always a reason behind
That eludes me skillfuly

Will I ever know?
Will He ever tell me?
Where are my signs?

I wanted to fly high
I wanted to ride the waves
I wanted to feel the high
I wanted to live my life

Now I want to leave it all behind
Closing a chapter of life
I want to start anew
Let me make it up to you

I haven't been there
I know, I know
I never wanted to
I was happy being mine

I didn't have the time
I didn't bother to make time
I was on my own
I was away from it all

Lets start now
Before I change my mind
Let me be there
Let me be with you

Let me see them grow
Let me hold their hands
Let me see them laugh
Let me see them cry

We'll get along fine
We'll chase the butterflies as it dawns
We'll chase the shadows by the dark
I'll hold them tight lest I go away again
I won't , I can't
I want to be there
I will be there

Give me a chance
I won't let you down
I promise

Cheers
rt

What do all these expressions mean?



She (Hands covering the mouth) : "You haven't changed!!!!!!"



When will you ever change!!!!!



She : "Oohh...what a cute kid!!!"



I have to see his dad!!!!!



He(sad look): " Sorry , I wasn't able to make it"

She : " No, that's okay.No problem"



"I didn't want you to come in the first place, you loser"



He(all excited) : "C'mon lets get started"

She(send up a silent prayer) : "Sure darling"


Oh no! Not again

She: How do you want your burger - medium or rare?

He: Oh I'm fine with anything dear!

Does that mean you know the difference?God Help.

X ( with a heavy Spanish accent) :"Sorry about that. I don't speak good english. I am poor at it"

Me ( Indian accent ofcourse! No! Don't get me wrong. Simple Indian! Not the Americanised " so doood, wassszzzup" accent) : " That's okay. No problem. Please put me on to Mr X"

I am on the phone waiting to be routed to Mr X. What a long wait. The incessant tune at the other end gets on my nerves. La La La La La. Am waiting. 2...3....4......5.....the clock keeps ticking away. X comes back on the line.

X : "Sorry Madammee(pause)....but he iz not there. (Long Pause) Call later?"

Me: "oh:( Sure. Thanks. I'll try tomorrow"

X:Sorry. I speak no english.

Me: Thanks, I'll try tomorrow. Bye

How many of us Indians would openly admit to not being able to speak good english. Not many I suppose. Do we take pride in being able to speak fluently in our mother tongue. Not many hands will go up now either. The Queens english. That was what we wanted to master. American English, without the G's. How you doing man! That's what we speak now. Not a sentence goes w/o being peppered abundantly with 'like'. So I was like....' damn how could you do that'

Well well well. I don't know if its a passing phase or if further generations will end up not being able to understand, converse or write in their mother tongue.

Anybody answers?

I stand there
As a new day dawns
My feet burried deep in the sand
Waves curl up to trace the feet
As they doff the sand
I dig my feet further deep
The waves curl up yet again
Let's not change
Let's be the same

Etched in the sands of time
Memories linger on
Different paths we have tread
Different experiences we have to share
Tides of time attempt to wash away the past
To make it none, but a speck in the distant past
Let's not change
Let's be the same

I'll go through it with you
The bond won't gather dust
I promise!
Matters of the heart or the head
A whoop of joy or a word of regret
The first to know
You have always been
Will always be
I promise!

Something is missing
Yet everything is just so right
So much to look forward to
The highest of the highs
The lowest of the lows
We've just started
A long way to go
Still.................

The road may go two ways
We may choose to go different ways
To chase our dreams
To live the one life that we have to live
Eternal optimists we will remain
Drawing inspiration from everybody
As the world around continues to spin!

Laughing at silly nothings
That only we will understand
Slapping our knees over a cup of coffee
As memories of the past weave in and out
Talking at the top of our voices
Laughter ringing out loud in the cafe
While people around us wonder if we've gone beserk

Talk
Of school days, college, work et al
Of little nothings
Of the innumerable crushes that we have had
Of life
Of what lies ahead
Of what's in store
Of what's over
Of what we could have done right in the past
Of what went wrong
Of anxieties and worries
Of dreams and desires
Of hopes
Of us and the rest of the world
Of how abnormal we are
Of how normal the rest of the world is
Of everything and anything

Carefree days may be long gone
Replaced by a sense of responsibility
Towards ourselves
And to the people whom we love

Miles apart
Yet etched are the memories
But a phone call away
We'll keep in touch!!!

I promise:)

Either this way or that
She leaves it vague
She leaves it unanswered
Open-ended it remains
A bit too mystifying

Words remain as thoughts
Lest she hurt someone
Lest she hurt herself
Better left unsaid
Untouched it is
Untouched it will be

With her it will go to the grave
Secrets, anything but ephemeral
Unless expressions give it all away
Unless she can't take it anymore
Unless she gets the courage to confront it
Unless she is forced to admit it
Unless she finds someone she can share it with

Laughter fills the room
She is drawn away from her thoughts
She is all but 15!
She breaks out in a little victory dance
She gives them all a bear hug
Plants a kiss on her brother's forehead!
Only person to call family:(
'He deserves it all', she prides!
Smiles all around!
Cheer all around!

For a second, if only!
She forgets
That she had been a victim!

Emotions. The bedrock of our existence. Joy, sorrow, optimism,envy,disgust, worry, boredom, loneliness, fear, anxiety......the list is endless. Sounds too cliched? Rephrase it the way you want to. You'll come right back to the same conclusion.

We weave in and out of each one of these emotions everyday and I'd be goddamned surprised if there weren't more. Do we possess enough skill to differentiate among the various emotions. Yes. A resound yes! But, think. What if we were not?What if every emotion seemed just the same to us. What if the death of a close one seemed just the same as the birth of a new one. What is being sacked from your job seems just the same as bagging that 'dream job'? What if the highs that you get from preparing to go on a long holiday to an exotic location, away from the humdrum of city life and the constant buzz that envelopes your workplace, feels just the same as getting up in the morning only to get started with chores that are part of your daily routine. Bizzare? That' a euphemism! Freaks you out! Totally!!:)

So what is it that I am trying to say here. All am saying is this! Feel every emotion. Ride every wave. Surf the crests of life. Hit the troughs. LOL for good health. If you want to worry about something, go ahead. Worry just enough to find the solution to the problem, but don't make it a way of life. Confused? Stressed? Find a sounding board. Bored? Twiddling your thumbs? Go get some fresh air!

Different Emotions! Different Experiences!

Cheers!

Young adults, that's what we become when we turn 21 or 22. From then on begins a journey that will be marked by decisions at every living moment. Now that's an exxageratiom some may counter. Okay, probably not every living moment but atleast a major portion of it. People do not treat you as kids anymore. Conversations that you were never a part of before, never offered an opinion on or times when you simply left the room when relatives began discussing something that you would rather be ignorant about(you will hear it from your mother later anyways:P), become a thing of the past. It's not a huge transition or anything, just that one shoulders more responsibility on the way to becoming an adult! More decisions. More mistakes. More lessons learned the hard way. Whoops! Hang on! Did I mention that right! Yeah I think I did! Adult!!!!

"I'd rather not become one", some might say.

"Why don' they invent a time machine or something that would let me stay right here, for now and ever. Am in love with life. 'Young adults', yeah I quite like that",others may offer!

"Not a chance! In your dreams", the more sane ones counter!

After all Shakespeare didn't write the All the World's a Stage as a farce. At the end of it all, don't we all want to say Been there. Done that!!!:)

Cheers

Change! Are we ready for it?

Am sure each one of us have been through a lot of changes in life, both personal and professional. Are we always ready for it? Do we rant and fume, stomping both our feet, strutting up and down, that this has happened(if we least expected it to) or do we maintain a dignified front and take it in our stride. Perspectives differ and so do reactions. Drastically, that too!

I have lived, studied and worked in three different cities. But all this was willed upon ones' self. I chose to do it. I raved about my first move away from home. I ranted about the second. I wanted to get back home. I chose to tread the middle ground on the third occassion.

I realised change is considered alarming only when unexpected. Only when it is an uninvited guest. Otherwise you just learn to live with it and make the best out of it. Handle change resourcefully and you will realise, whatever happens, happens for the best!

Cheers!!

If someone were to give me a blank sheet of paper and ask me to pen my thoughts down, I would surely have a tough time. It would all tumble down as a jumble of thoughts and to make sense of it all would take up quite sometime for me, leave alone some arbit person trying to figure out what I have put down. To cut a long story short - complex - that's how it will all be!

I've wondered, not once, but like a zillion times, what the need is for such complexities in life? Sometimes it is like you are bringing it on yourself, but for no other reason than you have nothing else to do! You don't feel like doing anything, so you just let your mind wander, do the honours and the come back to its righteous place. Just that at the end of it all, you wish you really had something to do, just so that your mind would stay where it actually needs to and do what it is meant to!.......There I go.....am doing it again! ...complicating a very simple sentence!:)

Quite a few people have very simple equations in life. Add a bit of this, take away a bit of that, dust it at the sides, shape it at the corners, nudge it a bit and bingo, life falls into place! Exactly the way they want it to. Very simple. No more wants. No more needs. Happy with what they have. Ecstatic! Peace! They kind of redifine Maslow's Hierarchy to fall in step with their life!

Two sides to a coin? Oh yes, ofcourse! People who are just not satisfied with what they have. Too many wants. Too many desires. Too many variables ...too complex an equation. Give them some more time, they would probably add more levels to Maslow's Hierarchy and find their names mentioned in some Intro to Pschylogy book! It would probably take forever to solve their million equations in life!!! Chuck!

And then there are the middle men! Who have a foot here and a foot there, not knowing where to go. Quite guilty about wanting more in life and at the same time not fully satisfied with what they have. They consider such situations to sort of question their ability to achieve more. "Like hell I can't do this" keeps ringing at the back of their heads. Convinced that they want more, confused as to why they want more, when they have it all???? A tad puzzling isn't it!!

Is life a cakewalk? I wish!!!:)

Cheers!:)

Sometimes it becomes a tad difficult to understand yourself:) Times when you yourself can not find explanations to what's going on;explanations to convince yourself or otherwise. Are you trying to broker a compromise between the inner and outer world? Damn, I wish I knew:)...wrong smiley.....heck it does not matter:) Wrong again, but am smiling...don't really know what the emoticon for confused is...so this will do for now:)

Times when you jus want to curl up with a good book and a mug of piping hot coffee, simply lost to the outside world. Peace! Or let your fingers fly over the keyboard. Just what am doing now. May not make sense , but simply put, just a roller coaster ride for my thoughts! Vince Flynn and coffee, just not right for this moment I guess.


Quarter Life Crisis...what else!!!:)

Can it get any better?

What can get better than...

• Spending time with the people whom you love the most
• Catching up with friends over a steaming cuppa
• A mail from a close friend that just reads ' Was thinking of you, just a mail to say Hi!:) you are the best'
• Mom's food
• The wind in your hair on a boat ride
• Smiling babies on a pram / stroller..handsome daddies are an add-on:P
• A coffee on the way back home from work
• Hot soup at the end of a hard day's work
• Being appreciated for your culinary skills although you know you suck big time
• Knowing that you are at your best when independent:)
• Having the whole weekend just to yourself doing what you like doing the most
• Buying the little somethings for people whom you love the most
• A rom-com to beat the blues
• Going online to see one of your best buddies online and game for a quick chat a thousand miles away
• Curling up to read a book by an Indian author although you end uf dozing even before you flip the first few pages
• Being invited over by someone whom you know cooks well
• Seeing things that you have never seen before, doing things that you have never done before
• An intellectually stimulating conversation that re-ignites your grey cells

Little do we know where the path leads

Walk the path

Difficult as it may seem

Take a minute to look back

Then will we realise

It has been a helluva ride

That will stand us in good stead:)

For now and forever:)

Cheers

rt

Different people ... different perspectives
Small talk , oh yes, 5 minutes and not more
Snow , rain, the sweltering heat
Weather forecasting -the all time saviour
Ah cut the crap:)
Why pretend - you can't, simply can't

Knows me inside out.
Can read me like the back of her hand
My every move
I am cornered
Hour long conversations
Latte guzzlers , that we are
Endless discussions
Arguments - we can live with that
Lending each other a ear
Girly talk you may think
Far from it
Ignited minds
Thoughts just rant off
Top of the mind,
No ' will mind?' doubts
No guilt trips
Cliched as it may sound

Different people
Different relationships
Little do we know y?