I cleared my throat. I was not going to let go of this opportunity. ”Am I good enough?” I had had enough of these questions for quite sometime now. After all I would never know unless I tried. It seemed like ages since I had stood in front of an audience. Okay, honestly I admit that I have never performed to an audience. At least not this kind of stuff! I have aced elocutions and debates, but SINGING, completely out of my league. I have however always fantasized singing that perfect song, with all the chords and notes exactly in place, dancing that perfect dance with not a single step out of place. “DREAMER”, people used to chide me. “Hey it’s just a dream, not that I have made a fool of myself already’, I used to retort. I may not be an accomplished singer, hell, I’m not even an amateur, but I can proudly say that I stick to appreciation, that too if I have nothing else to do and if the song is remotely familiar to me. Even then I only lend as much as a fleeting ear to it. Doesn’t make me much of a prodigy does it? Prodigy????? Do I even know the definition? :)

I had always maintained a dignified front. Always doing things that I was good at. I had drawn my own boundaries, never testing unknown waters. A resolute Capricorn? Yeah I guess so, in more ways that one I should say!

Ah well, I realized that it was time to do the things that I so wanted to do. Someone had once told me – ‘One life. Live it’. How true!!! The right moment to do something never will come. Every moment is the perfect moment and there is nothing like the present to simply go for it.

And so, there I was bang in front of an audience of 50, yeah maybe, at least as far as I could see, with a mike in my hand, clearing my throat. I wanted to pinch myself and ask if this was for real! Apparently my eyes say so! Thank heavens this was not some cut-throat competition, just an informal get-together of university folks.

Through the corner of my eyes, I could see my best friend standing by the curtains, with her thumbs up and a broad grin! Ah well, I had nothing to lose. There were no critics in the audience. I didn’t believe in critics anyways. They were just people who knew the route but didn’t know how to drive. I pat myself. I was in the driver’s seat! Even before the first note escaped my mouth the veena player began to strum. Ah, it’s now or never!! I began to sing. A few notes went astray but I was able to hold fort managing to keep the pace of the song. The tempo began to rise and I completely lost myself as I got into the groove of the song. And voila! The last note and finally it was all over. I didn’t dare to open my eyes and look at the audience. Not that I wanted to hear encore. But the mildest of claps would be enough not to shatter my ego and make my day. Ah there it was, someone clapped and a few more followed suit. I opened my eyes, bowed, and got up with a broad grin nearly touching my eyes. Been there, done that. I walked out and got a bear hug from my friend! Not the mellifluous of songs, yet I was ecstatic! I had done something that I never though I would be able to.

Phew, a sigh of relief! Finally, there it was, a new beginning, a starter, an appetizer, the main course is yet to come!!!!! :)

Disclaimer: That was just a piece of fiction! ‘I‘am still waiting for the right moment!!!!! :)

Go-getters or No-getters

She nudged me,
Do I turn?
"What if?" rang loudly in my ears
"Go on!" said another voice
"Its now or never"
Where am I ? In a battlefield?
Thanks but no thanks
I refused to budge!

Strikingly beautiful??...Ah yes!!:P
So says the corner of eyes
What am I? A coward?
I can't...I simply can't!!
Fresh opportunities come by later , don't they?
"You wish", says the same voice
Say pass and I am doomed
Whatever will be will be
Thats the philosophical me!

Could, might,maybe, in retrospect, in hindsight
Words that form the fulcrum of my dictionary
Never look beyond these words do I?
Subtle hints can't get more obvious!
Subtle....obvious???? Paradoxical.....Whatever!
I prefer to be oblivious
When oportunity bangs on the door
I only hear a faint knock!

The age of passing letters and notes
Are they over?...I quiz myself!
No boss...yet to come!
Sarcastic me in full force
Differential equations and Linear Algebra
Completelt get transmitted overhead
Never made sense , did they?
Nah!
Today is no exception right?
Yep!
I console myself!:)

Decisions , emotions , choices
They rule my lif
"Say hi! Ask her out!"
No way. not on your life!

"Okay Class, Time up. Meet you tomorrow"
Thats it...Over????
Bewildered me!!!

Maths was never my cup of tea!
Next hour...psychology
Maybe she will set next to me!
Maybe Freud will drill some sense into me!!

I wish!!!!!:)

Saluting people who brave the worst!!:)


I closed my eyes
Hazy, Dark, Indescribable
Emotions rippled thro me
Why me? Do I ask myself the quesition?
Millions of people want the answer
Do they have it? A resound NO!
Makes me all the more confident
I wont know the reason either!:)

I shut out all the emotions
I dont want to harbour any ill feelings
"When god brings u to it..
He will bring you thro it"
The oft repeated motivator
Am I standing at the gates of heaven?
A foot here and a foot there
Not knowing where to go?

A good night's rest
Only to wake up and realise
That all this never happened!
How I would love that!
"Alas Thou shall not get what you want!"
My rounds of goodbye...will the time come too soon?
"Till death do us apart"
Seems to fit the bill perfectly!
Whoever coined all this, I muse
Ah there it is, my sense of humour
Good! I'vent lost it all!

I opened my eyes
The world is just as it was
Birds chirping
The faint smell of wet earth
My piping mug of hot coffee
Bryan Adams crroning on my Ipod
The world hasn't taken a U turn has it?
Nope , not as far as I can see

I decide to go with the flow
Suddenly I remember Shakespeare's Seven Stages
He didn't consider such situations I supposed
Destiny will unfold itself
Do I find this plausible?
Least of all , am I convinced?
Nah!
Like hell I'll take that!

I grit my teeth
Fight I will
Lose I may
But never will I take it lying down!

Smile I will,
Thro trials and tribulations
Simply because,
The world is just the same
And
I am ready to run the race against time:)

Cheers

Random thoughts!!!!:)

All I wanted was a smile
And a reassuring nod
To say
All is okay
To say
This too shall pass
I got a hug instead

All I wanted was 5 rupees
To buy that rubber ball
To go out
And play cricket with the guys
To get hurt and scraped
Only to brush away the mud
And start fielding again
I was a gifted a willow instead


All I wanted was for the bell to ring
Just so that science class would end
To pick up
My Famous Five and start reading
In the five minutes I would get
For my next teacher to come
English teacher gave us a free period instead

All I wanted was to go home from school
All alone for the first time
Without someone to say
Hold my hand, be careful!
Just so that I could ride my new cycle
To feel the afternoon sun
To feel the high of riding back home for the first time
My pals accompanied me instead!

All I wanted was for someone to be my best friend
To share all that I possibly could
The usual girl talk
The intellectually stimulating conversations
To share your highs and lows
To simply act as a sounding board
To simply have fun
To rant off when you are at the lowest ebb
I asked for one
I got a fantastic bunch!!!!!! :)